There’s a certain finality about the word “resolution,” I feel.
It’s become a tradition for people to ask “So, what are your New Year’s Resolutions?” in the first few weeks of a new year, and I’ve never known what to answer them with. And it’s not because I don’t have things that I want to accomplish in the coming year – because I do, and I have a lot of them – but rather, I don’t like the idea of calling them “resolutions.”
To me, a resolution is something that was originally a problem and, after lengthy thoughts and discussions, a method was found to make the problem less of one, and the method is something that is achievable within a certain time frame.
To me, the idea of calling promises that I make with myself as “resolutions” just… doesn’t make sense, because they’re just things that I want to do and hope to do. None of these promises have assigned time frames, partially because I have a terrible sense of time and cannot guestimate time frames, but mostly because I know that if I don’t meet said time constraints, I may end up sending myself into a bout of depression and extreme insecurity.
So they’ll be not-Resolutions. Promises. Goals. Things I want to do in 2015.
I’ve always liked buying things, but ever since I gained financial independence, it’s only gotten worse, and last year (2014) – for one reason or another – it was horrendous. There just really isn’t any justification in spending NT$XX,XXX on fountain pens in six months, regardless of how pretty it looks or wonderfully it writess. So this year (2015), I plan to be more frugal. I will try to think more carefully about what I want and what I need, make lists, and sleep on the urge to buy things. (But I am still getting the 2015 editions of Lamy’s AL-star and safari fountain pens.)
× Communicate better
I am notoriously bad at keeping in contact with people. People message me on Line and Whatsapp, drop me e-mails and mentions on Twitter, but more often than not I will forget to reply, simply because I see the messages first thing in the morning, when I wake up, tell myself I’ll reply when I’m more coherent, and then proceed to forget. It happens every. single. time. So I need to up my game. I need to learn to break that habit of checking my messages when I first wake up. I need to learn to make better use of the things I have around me – be it pen and paper, or my phone – to constantly remind me to reply to X or let Y know about something. I have a lot of stationery I could use for this purpose: I just need to actually use them.
× Internalise less
For all the talking I do on Twitter (~150k) and in private chat rooms, I feel like I talk surprisingly little about me. About what I like and why I like it. About what I think and why I think it. About how I feel and why I feel it. That the persona people see on my public account is only, really, a tiny facet of actual me, the tip of the iceberg. And sometimes, it feels like I don’t really know who I am because I’ve hidden behind this persona for so long. So this year, hopefully with the help of this blog, I hope that I can learn to stop keeping my thoughts bottled up, to stop stopping myself from analysing my thoughts too deeply.
× Take better care of my body
This one is, in part, the generic New Year’s Resolution of “Exercise more! Eat healthier!” – although, more the former than the latter. (I still live with my family so we eat very heathy, balanced diets.) But more than that, I hope to be better about taking care of my skin – about moisturising and properly washing my face, and the like. By extension, I hope to become better at applying make-up too! I know the basics, like how to apply foundation and how to use eyeliner, but I can’t do anything more fancy than that, so I hope to improve in that aspect in the coming year.
× Experience more
This encompasses a lot of my wishes, such as travelling, meeting people and learning new things. I hope to read more, to write more, to sing more, to travel more and to learn more in the coming year, and I have an idea as to how I’ll go about achieving this; now, if only I could find the motivation…
Honestly, when I thought about writing this post, I thought there would be more to say, but somehow I managed to sort them into these five main categories… I wonder how many of these I will be able to look back on at the end of 2015 and say “Ah, I’ve made progress with this.”
… But that’s still some way off. We’ve only just started 2015 – the journey has only just begun.